New Year's resolution?

Maybe my resolution for 2009 will be to be a better blogger. I will try to at least post small blurbs and/or pics more often. Here are some pics of our Christmas tree. I am very happy with it! I did a black/silver/white theme.

I am looking forward to going home for a few days for Christmas. We've been able to go home for Christmas every year since we've lived in Austin. But now that I'm out of school and a regular full-time employee, I will probably have to work on Christmas every once in a while. Work is getting much better. I am getting more comfortable with everything and I'm actually able to enjoy myself some of the time. It's nice! I also started a new shift. I was not much of an early morning person. So I now work Monday-Friday 10am-6:30pm. And let me tell you...it's GREAT!!!

And lastly, here are our adorable sleepy kitties:

OR Nursing

So, what is new with me? I work. And I work some more. I am exhausted! My job is very physical and it wears me out! I still love what I am doing, but it is very overwhelming. I am supposed to be on "orientation" for 6 months. Meaning I will not be "on my own" for 6 months. Well, let me tell you...that is not the case! I am constantly being used as an extra staff member, running my own operating rooms, without another nurse. I am capable of this a lot of the time, but sometimes I don't feel comfortable on my own. When it's a big surgery that I haven't done before, I need some guidance. I am able to get that guidance most of the time if I ask for it, but it really shouldn't be this way. I am learning...A LOT! But I feel that being thrown into a situation that I'm not comfortable in isn't always the best way. But that's just how it's going to be. And I keep being told that you have to have "tough skin" to work in the OR. I have to deal with cranky surgeons that take their frustration out on me. I have to take criticism from my peers when I do something the wrong way. It isn't always truly the wrong way, it just isn't their way. There is a saying that "nurses eat their young." And I am finding that to be oh-so-true!

Anyways, sorry for ranting. I do still love my job. And it will get better in time. I hear it takes about 2 years to feel comfortable as a new nurse in the OR. I am looking forward to that day. I have had some really good days where I am on my own and everything goes extremely smoothly and it boosts my confidence like crazy. And then I have days like today, where it felt like nothing was going my way. So far, it has always worked out in the end. The surgery is completed, the patient is safe, and I go on to the next case.

So, I work Monday through Friday 6:30am-3:00pm. This is part of the reason I am so exhausted. I am not a morning person. I despise getting up at 5:30am! I come home from work and feel like a zombie. I don't get anything productive done during the week. Luckily I have weekends off...for now. Until I have to be on call one weekend a month. I don't know how these other nurses do it. I am hoping that once I am off orientation, I can change my shift around a little so I don't have to be there so early every day.

Most people don't have a clue what the circulating nurse does in the operating room. And let me tell ya, it's nothing like on TV. I know I talked about it briefly in my last post, but I will go into a little more detail today.

It can be very intense and very exciting. It is a challenge, and I need to be challenged in life. There is so much variety in the OR. There are so many different surgical specialties that I need to know about (general, orthopedics, neurosurgery, gynecology, vascular...). I have gotten to "scrub in" on a few surgeries now. Meaning that I am gowned and gloved, in the sterile field, handing instruments, retracting body parts, cutting sutures. And it's SO EXCITING!!! I love every minute of it!

As a circulating nurse, after making sure all of the necessary equipment is in the room, I go see the patient in the holding area, conduct a pre-op interview, check their chart for the consent, labs, etc, answer their questions, and then bring the patient to the OR. I then assist the anesthesiologist or nurse anethesist (CRNA) with induction (putting the patient to sleep). Next I help the surgeon with positioning the patient for surgery, "prep" (or clean) the surgical site (abdomen, knee, hand, etc.), put in a Foley catheter if ordered, connect all the necessary equipment (cords get "thrown off" the sterile field and I plug stuff in), do the computer charting, and make sure that the surgical team has everything they need for the procedure. It is a lot of responsibility! And aside from all of that, my primary focus is ensuring the patient's safety.

I have a wide range of types of patients. Some are extremely healthy, but fell and broke a bone in their ankle and need to have it fixed by putting a plate on it. And some are really sick, in renal failure, with acute respiratory failure and diabetes, and need a catheter placed in their chest so they can have dialysis.

One thing I really like about working in the OR is the teamwork aspect. I work in extremely close proximity with surgeons, anesthesiologists/CRNAs, scrub techs, and other RNs. I am stuck in a small room (with no windows to the outside) with the same people, sometime for hours at a time. We really get to know each other well!

I love the feeling of making a difference in my patient's lives. I learn MANY new things, every single day! I am challenged more than I ever have been before. And I work alongside with some of the most educated, talented, caring, compassionate people I have ever known!

So it may be hard. It may be exhausting. It may sometimes feel like I am never going to "get it". But I will keep going back to it. Because I am a nurse. And I love my job! :)

I will try to come back soon with some non-work updates. But I just had to get all of that out!

It's official...Laura B, RN!!!

Wow. I'm not a student anymore. It's a very strange feeling. Things got a little crazy for a little while, but I think things are finally calming down. I graduated on May 16. Had family in town visiting most of that week. Here are Brent's parents, Brent, myself, my mom, and Doug after graduation.


I took my NCLEX (nursing state boards) on Tuesday the 20th and started working on Wednesday the 21st! I have not had a break at all! I found out on Thursday the 22nd that I passed the NCLEX (making me an official RN)!!! And I had my license in the mail by Saturday. It's all very surreal. Most of my friends are taking their boards sometime this month and start working in late June. I just wanted to get it all over with. No use in dragging it out. People made it sound like the NCLEX was going to be ridiculously hard and I would leave the testing center feeling like I had failed. Luckily, that was not the case for me. I felt pretty confident going into the exam, and pretty confident coming out. UT's nursing program has a 98% pass rate, so I had a pretty strong feeling I would not be one of the 2% to fail. That's just not what I do...I don't fail!!!

Work so far has been GREAT! I did some boring classroom orientation stuff 2 weeks ago. And last week I worked in the operating room with another nurse all week. I did a lot of watching what she was doing and I helped with doing things as I felt comfortable doing them. I am so excited to be an OR nurse! It gives me a rush of excitement and it truly feels like this is what I should be doing. It is unlike any other area of nursing. It is a very technical job. Making sure everything is in the room and ready before the surgeon gets there. Making sure everyone in the room is doing what they are supposed to be doing during the surgery. Because as a nurse, my number one job is to be an advocate for the patient. And while a patient is under anesthesia, it is extremely important! They are unable to do anything for themselves, so it is my job to make sure they are given the proper care and treatment while in that operating room. There are multiple other duties of an OR nurse. There's also a lot of boring charting that has to be done. Definitely my least favorite part about nursing. But I absolutely LOVE my job!!!

I am pretty much still in shock. I'm a nurse...a Registered Nurse!!! That thing I had been working so hard to achieve...is finally here! It feels so good!

Happy Mother's Day!

BEING A MOTHER...

After 17 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to
take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She
said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves
you and would love to spend some time with you.'
* * *
The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit
was my MOTHER, who has been alone for 20 years,
but the demands of my work and my two boys had
made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
* * *
That night I called to invite her to go out for
dinner and a movie.
* * *
'What's wrong, aren't you well,' she asked?
* * *
My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a
late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign
of bad news.
* * *
'I thought it would be pleasant to spend some
time with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said,
'I would like that very much.'
* * *
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick
her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her
house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous
about our date. She waited in the door. She had curled

her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn

to celebrate her last birthday.
* * *
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an
angel's. "I told my friends that I was going to go
out with my son, and they were impressed," she said,
as she got into that new white van. "They can't wait to hear
about our date".
* * *
We went to a restaurant that, although not
elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my
arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat
down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only
read large print. Half way through the entries, I
lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at
me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. "It was I
who used to have to read the menu when you were
small," she said. "Then it's time that you relax and
let me return the favor," I responded.
* * *
During the dinner, we had an agreeable
conversation- -nothing extraordinary but catching up
on recent events of each other's life. We talked so
much that we missed the movie.
* * *
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll
go out with you again, but only if you let me invite
you.' I agreed.
* * *
A few days later, my mother died of a massive
heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't
have a chance to do anything for her.
* * *
Some time later, I received an envelope with a
copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place
mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I
paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I
could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two
plates - one for you and the other for your wife.
You will never know what that night meant for me. I
love you, son.'
* * *
At that moment, I understood the importance of saying

in time: 'I LOVE YOU' and to give our loved
ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time
they deserve, because these things cannot be put off
till 'some other time.'
* * *

I'm DONE!!!

As of yesterday, I am officially done with nursing school! Now I just have to wait for graduation (May 16) and then take the NCLEX. And I will officially be an RN! I can't believe that the end is actually here! At times it seemed so far away. Everything is in order for my job. I will start working as an OR nurse once I have been given GN (graduate nurse) status. It takes the board of nursing a little while to do that. So it's just a waiting game. I can work as a GN until I take (and pass) the NCLEX, then I will be an RN!

A little update

Well, I got busy with school and life and haven't posted anything in a while. I knew that would happen. I graduate in less than 2 months! We took a test at school that is supposed to be an indicator of how we will do on the NCLEX, and I scored very well on it. I barely studied... So I guess some of this information actually is sinking in! Next week I am going to a NSNA (National Student Nurse Association) convention in Grapevine, TX. I will be gone from Wednesday through Saturday. It will be a nice little getaway from school madness.

I have been sick for almost a month now. I am so sick of being sick! I think I just had a cold that turned into bronchitis. I don't feel too horrible. I just have this nagging cough now. My surgery finally got authorized by the insurance company (more than 2 months later!). But I can't miss any more school to have the surgery. I missed some from being sick and I'm going to miss a few days when I go to the convention. So, it is going to have to wait until after graduation in mid-May or so. I haven't scheduled anything yet. I really wish surgery wasn't the answer. I am considering going to another doctor for a 2nd opinion. I am trying some alternative treatments for the pain in the meantime. I have gone to 2 acupuncture appointments now. I don't really think it's doing much for my jaw, but I do feel like it is helping some of my other problems. I am going to keep going and see what happens.

I took a break from studying and made this "Meez" character. I think it's cute. :)

I got tagged and Brent got a new tooth

I was tagged by Heidi. So here are some things about myself that you may or may not care to know.

5 Things I Was Doing 10 Years Ago

1. Counting down the days to high school graduation. I can't believe it's been 10 years!!!
2. Hanging out with Amy 24/7 being really silly.
3. Not thinking about college or my future. But hey, I'm finally getting there!
4. Driving around in my Eagle Talon, blaring the music WAAAY too loud!
5. Working at Buy For Less as a checker.

5 Things On My To-Do List Today

1. Get something productive accomplished for school.
2. Go to bed at a decent hour so I am not miserable tomorrow like I am right now.
3. List stuff to sell on eBay
4. Get some housework/laundry done (yeah right!)
5. Eat some dinner. I am starving!!!

5 Snacks I enjoy

1. Chips and salsa!!! I can't resist it!
2.Granola bars
3. Fruit of almost any sort
4. Chips/crackers and hummus
5. Braum's ice cream (oh, how I miss you!)

5 Things I'd Do if I Were a Billionaire

1. Travel, travel, travel!
2. Pay off debt and help out family members and others in need.
3. Contribute to some worthwhile causes (not sure which ones, but they would be good ones!)
4. To be honest, I'm sure I'd buy a lot of fancy, expensive things I didn't need.
5. Continue my education. For my own gratification. And so I could still work if I felt like it and continue to help others. :)

3 Bad Habits

1. Running late. All the time.
2. Wasting hours and hours on the internet (And now the Xbox 360...thanks Brent).
3. Not exercising regularly (or at all lately!)


5 Jobs I've had

1. Home Health Aide
2. Payroll specialist/Administrative assistant at an alarm company
3. Customer service at various call centers (Direct TV, Hertz Car Rentals, Sprint PCS)
4. Assistant manager at National Check Cashers
5. Waitress at Denny's


5 Things People Probably Don't Know About Me

1. I would have no problem being a "professional student". I actually LIKE school.
2. I wish I could sing or dance well.
3. I have had more than 15 jobs since I was 16 years old.
4. I am in some sort of physical pain a LOT!!! (FYI: Right now my hip and jaw hurt)
5. I hit snooze at least 4 times every morning (this probably contributes to the lateness factor).


So, at the end of this thing, I'm supposed to tag 5 people and tell them to do this same thing. But I don't know who to tag. So if you read this, and feel like doing it, go for it! And have a great day!!!


Oh, and here are the pics of Brent's new tooth. He got the permanent crown a while back, I just hadn't gotten around to taking pictures of him until now. It looks very good. Better than the other front tooth in my opinion! So, yay for Brent's new tooth!

Back to school

Ohhhhhhh
Back To School
Back To School
To Prove To Dad That I'm Not A Fool
I've Got My Lunch Packed Up
My Boots Tied Tight
I Hope I Don't Get In A Fight
Ohhhh
Back To School
Back To School
Back To School

I am enjoying my last day of freedom before I start my last semester of school! After tomorrow I will most likely be extremely busy and not have much time for blogging. Or, blogging will be what I will do when I should really be studying. We shall see. I can't believe I am finally graduating in May! It's going to come so fast! I have been in college since 2001...taking the long route. Working full-time, changing my major, moving to a new state...it has all delayed my attainment of getting my bachelor's degree. But the end is finally in sight!

Last weekend we went to a birthday get-together with some of my OR coworkers. It was fun to hang out with them outside of work. I'm not sure Brent enjoyed it quite as much as I did. I'm sure he gets as bored hearing medical talk as I do hearing computer or sports talk.


So, I should really be getting some stuff around the house done instead of wasting so much time on the computer. I have been sitting here being non-productive for over 3 hours now! I had a list of things I wanted to do while on my winter break. I didn't get very much of that done. I did do a lot of relaxing though, which I needed very badly. I tend to get very stressed out and tend to internalize it. And then it comes out as a physical problem (back pain, stomach problems, jaw clenching/grinding/pain). I feel that I deserved a break. Maybe this last semester won't be as bad as some of the others in the past. I only have to take 10 hours of classes...so I'm feeling optimistic that it's going to be less stressful!

I have some reading assignments for class tomorrow. Blah. I also need to get my resume updated to give to my boss at work. Even though she's told me she will hire me, we still have to go through all of the formalities. I want to apply at a few other places just in case something happens and it falls through. I've started the process of applications and paperwork to be able to take the NCLEX exam after graduation. That's a huge process in itself...and an expensive one! Registration fees, testing fees, passport/ID photo, fingerprinting...but I'm getting it all done and I can't wait to be completely DONE!!!

My jaw

I have been clenching/grinding my teeth in my sleep for well over 10 years now. I would have minor pain or clicking on the right side of my jaw every once in a while, but never thought much of it. Dentists would tell me that they could see marks on my teeth from doing it, but none of them ever had any sort of resolution. Early last year the clicking and pain got worse. I talked to my dentist about it and he suggested I get a mouth guard made to wear at night. I eventually got one and the pain and clicking got significantly better. Then, last summer the pain came back, and this time it was much worse. I went back to the dentist with my night guard. He did some adjusting and filing on it and the pain went away within days! Then, in September the pain came back again. And this time it was almost unbearable. I could barely eat, talk, yawn, etc...without being in serious pain. I went to my dentist again, thinking he could just do some more adjusting on the night guard, and it would get better again. Wrong! He said the night guard was fitting fine and he thought I had probably damaged my TMJ in some way. He referred me to a TMJ specialist.

I went to the specialist in October. He x-rayed my mouth and couldn't see anything significant, so he told me I would need an MRI to be able to fully diagnose the problem. He suspected a TMJ disc displacement. I had the MRI, went back to the specialist, and his suspicion was correct. The discs on both sides are displaced, but the right side is much worse (the right side is where I've always had the pain and clicking, never on the left). I also have limited jaw opening. A normal mouth is able to open 40-45 millimeters. Mine opens about 27-33 millimeters. The disc being out of place is what is limiting the amount I can open my mouth.

I learned that the clicking is from the disc moving in and out of place when the mouth is opened and closed. When the clicking eventually went away, I thought things were getting better. But in reality, it had gotten worse. Instead of the disc going in and out of place, it was out of place and staying that way, never popping back into place. If I hadn't gotten a night guard when I did, I would have started to wear down the joint itself and caused many more problems. This website explains it pretty well and has some good animations:

http://www.tmjarizona.com/animation/animation.php

My situation is like the last one: "Anterior Displacement Without Reduction"

My masseter muscle was also rock hard and needed to be treated as well. That is where a lot of my pain was coming from.The doctor decided to do a steroid injection into the muscle and have me go to physical therapy to work the muscle to try and loosen it up.

I had the steroid injection in early December and went to physical therapy once a week. I went back to the TMJ doctor today for a follow-up/reevaluation. The muscle is better, but the disc is still out of place and still causing a lot of pain. So...the next step is going to be SURGERY!!! I love surgery and all, but not so much when it is on ME!

He explained the procedure to me today. He will make a small incision a little bit in front of my ear to insert a scope so he can look around inside the joint to assess the amount of damage that has been done. He will then make another small incision to allow him to insert instruments to put the disc back in place and hold it in place with sutures. He said that even though the left side has never given me any pain, he would like to fix it as well. Because once the right side is fixed, the left side could start to bother me. The surgery is done as an outpatient procedure (I would go home the same day) and most people are out of commission for about 5 days. The actual healing time takes a few months. Here is a little more about the surgery: (mine would be the "Disk repositioning" surgery)

http://www.mayoclinic.org/tmj/treatment.html

The office is submitting the information to my insurance company to get authorization for surgery. That process takes 4-6 weeks! And then they would be able to schedule the surgery. This is a never-ending process! I am getting so frustrated at being in pain and just waiting and waiting and waiting. I know it will end eventually. But then it will be something else. It's always something! But I have learned that that is life.

I have many other good things in my life that I am very grateful for. I have a wonderful family, husband, and friends. We are able to to live comfortably, we own a house, and I am about to graduate from a top ranked nursing school. Physical pain is something I have learned to live with. I have frequent arm, leg, and hip pain from my car accident that happened 11 years ago tomorrow. That pain will probably never go away completely. I am still able to live a fully functional life and I am especially thankful for that. I could have very easily lost my life (or my leg) that day, but I did not. I am here for a reason. I can deal with physical pain and have learned to live with it. It's not exactly fun, but it could always be worse. I always remind myself of that...it could always be worse. I actually have it pretty good when looking at the big picture.


These are just some of the people that I love and that I know love me. There are many many more. I know there are a lot of people who don't have the love and support I do. Again, I am so very grateful for that! I have it VERY good! :)

Hillbilly Husband

Last Friday Brent broke one of his front teeth in half playing basketball. Here's his account of the story:

"I was defending on a guy who was driving to the basket, and as he tried to get around me he swung up one of his elbows and hit me solid right on my front teeth. I then spit out the tooth fragment and set it aside and finished the game. It did put a nice gash in his elbow which was bleeding nicely as well. That'll be cheaper for him to fix than my tooth though I bet."


Luckily he was able to get into a cheapo dentist on Saturday to get a composite put on, so he didn't have to go around with half a tooth for too long. I could barely look at him without cracking up before it was placed. Below are pictures of the composite. A little crooked at the bottom, but overall not too bad. He made an appointment with a GOOD cosmetic dentist to get the permanent crown put on.


The appointment with the "good" dentist was yesterday. There, he got a temporary crown placed. It looks similar to the composite, but a little straighter. He goes back in 2 weeks to get the permanent crown. This has been quite a process. He has to be very careful what he eats (i.e., no biting directly into foods) until the permanent crown is on. And after that, he will always have to be somewhat careful because a permanent crown can always come off down the road. But he will basically be back to normal. I will post pictures once the permanent crown is done.

Ok, here goes...

I've never been much of a writer. I realize that the internet and blogging and email is a great way to stay in touch with people I might not otherwise hear from/about for years. I am starting this blog mainly to update family and friends about the ongoings of my life. It may be boring to some...and that is fine. But I do think it's a good idea to have this medium to let the ones that are interested in on my life.

I'll start with the basics for those that I have not been in contact with for a while. I met Brent through friends in 2001. We became good friends and eventually started dating in 2002. He moved to Austin, TX after graduating from Oklahoma State University with a bachelor's degree in Computer Science. He got a job at Dell, which is headquartered in Austin. We were long distance for the first year of our relationship. We would take turns driving back and forth between Austin and Oklahoma City every other weekend or so. The 6 hour drive got old really quickly. So, we decided I should move to Austin so we could be together all the time. I moved to Austin in 2003 and Brent and I got married on May 12, 2005. Here is my favorite picture from our wedding reception.


We bought a house and have enjoyed doing minor updates here and there. I have painted and repainted the majority of the rooms in the house. I enjoy decorating and am always wanting to change something. The house is only 12 years old, so there are not any structural changes that need to be done. So we do mostly cosmetic updates. We have changed out light fixtures, ceiling fans, sink faucets, etc. Our next project is going to be flooring. We have Pergo flooring in the kitchen and dining room and we love it. We would like to extend it into the living room and office, and eventually the whole house. I will post pictures of the inside of the house in a future blog. Here is one of the outside.


I am in my senior year of nursing school at the University of Texas, but I'll always be a Sooner at heart. I feel that I am betraying my heritage by going to UT, but I really didn't have much choice, living in Austin and all. UT's nursing school is ranked in the top 10 in the nation, so I guess that makes me feel a little better about it. But I absolutely despise seeing so much of the color burnt orange all around me (and ON me when I have to wear burnt orange scrubs to clinicals!). So, I graduate this May! I am so excited!!! I have been in school for almost 8 years now, to attain a 4 year bachelor's degree. I started out part-time as a business major and worked full-time to support myself. I changed my major to nursing and was finally able to go to school full-time after getting married. But all that matters is that I'm finally achieving my goal. Here is a picture of my first clinical group in nursing school (seems like so long ago!).


I work part time in the operating room at a hospital here in Austin. I love surgery! I have always thought that I would want to eventually work there as an RN. I just didn't think it would be possible to do so right out of school. I did an internship there last summer and started working there as a surgical attendant immediately after my internship. No, I don't hand the surgeon the scalpel and other tools...I get to do the dirty work. I clean the rooms after the surgeries, I transport patients to and from their rooms, I transport various specimens (AKA blood and body parts!) to the lab, and cleaning and more cleaning. It's not a glamorous job, but it's getting me to where I want to be! I actually enjoy it a lot. I have great co-workers and supervisors. I have spoken with the director of surgery, and she told me they WILL have a job for me there when I graduate! YAY!!! That is such a relief. Most of my friends are stressing out about applying for jobs and some don't even know what type of nursing they want to do.

I am currently on my winter break from school. I go back to school on January 14th. It will be my last semester! I do hope to go back for my Master's degree someday, but Brent and I would also like to start a family soon, so that will come first. Hopefully in the next year or 2. I have enjoyed this break. I have not worked at all. I have truly given myself a break, which I needed very badly! We were able to go home to Oklahoma for Christmas for about a week, which was very nice. I have posted and sold some things on eBay and Craigslist to make some money since I haven't been working. I have also picked back up on beading necklaces and bracelets. I gave some away as Christmas presents, and everyone loved them! People keep telling me I need to sell my jewelry. I am seriously contemplating it. I just don't know how much time I will be able to commit to it. I'll just have to play it by ear. I will post updates about that...if it ever happens.

This is getting very long. I will save the rest for future posts. I hope this is something I will keep up with. I have enjoyed it so far. It's just going to be a matter of having TIME!!! Something I am seriously lacking when in school. So, that is all for now.